


The Only House That's Not on Fire (Yet)

by MeanGreenMotherFromOuterSpace22



Category: Sofia the First (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Autistic Baileywick, Baileywick time byatches, Cedric and Greylock deserve better, Cedric is bad at feelings, Eventual Romance, Flashbacks, Friendship, Greylock gets a quote-on-quote redemption arc but like we all know that's bullshit, Insomnia, Introspection, King Roland doesn't deserve rights, Loneliness, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Queen Miranda is here because I'm a lesbian and that's it, Slow Burn, Wormwood is a snarky bitch and we respect that, can't believe this hasn't been done before, season 4 fix-it, takes place after Day of the Sorcerers, trigger warning for detailed description of panic attacks, wow this sounds sad i promise it gets better
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:01:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29436489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeanGreenMotherFromOuterSpace22/pseuds/MeanGreenMotherFromOuterSpace22
Summary: for someone that had tried to commit treason less than a few months ago, Cedric felt that he was doing surprisingly well for himself. Of course, things could always be better, that had been a fact of his life ever since he was a child, but he wasn’t in jail, he wasn’t in exile, he wasn’t on parole and he was still allowed to keep his tower and possessions. Honestly, he really could do a lot worse.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Cedric has regrets, an entire life full of them. he's made mistake after mistake, and now he feels like everything is crushing down on top of him. His life spiraling out of control, Cedric does what any perfectly sane and functional person would do: becomes responsible for the supposed rehabilitation of one of his oldest and really only friends. Absolutely nothing could ever feasibly go wrong with this plan.
Relationships: Cedric the Sorcerer & Baileywick, Cedric the Sorcerer & Greylock the Grand, Cedric the Sorcerer & Sofia the First, Cedric the Sorcerer & Wormwood (Disney), Cedric the Sorcerer /Greylock the Grand
Comments: 21
Kudos: 8





	1. Everything works out nice in the end

**Author's Note:**

> well, this is gonna be a fun ride! this is my first fic ever and it's for Sofia the first of all things. Cedric as a character has meant a lot to me, I connected with him emotionally from a young age and i really think season 4 did him so dirty. so, this fic will be a semi-rewrite of season 4 but mostly focused on giving Cedric the proper character treatment he deserves. I'm also gonna throw Greylock into the mix because the man appeared in one episode, the best in the series, and then they just forgot about him and the very clear and very gay subtext between him and Cedric. i'm really sorry for how angsty it starts but i promise it will get better as the story progresses! Please enjoy!

for someone that had tried to commit treason less than a few months ago, Cedric felt that he was doing surprisingly well for himself. Of course, things could always be better, that had been a fact of his life ever since he was a child, but he wasn’t in jail, he wasn’t in exile, he wasn’t on parole and he was still allowed to keep his tower and possessions. Honestly, he really could do a lot worse.

The days and weeks after the incident had been the worst. No one, not even princess Sofia, was permitted to talk to him. Word had been sent out to his family, and the hounding he got from his father was worse than any punishment or scolding he’d received before. Goodwin had almost torn his tower to shreds, yelling about how Cedric was a ‘disappointment to the family and to wizardry that had never been seen before!’ and how he ‘wished he had given the family wand and business to Cordelia, at least she wouldn’t try to overthrow her own god damn king!’ as he hexed everything in sight, knocking over stacks of scrolls and sending equipment flying across the room, smashing bottles of rare and powerful potion ingredients to barely more than powder and completely ruining Cedric’s living space faster than Cedric had almost ruined his own life. Cedric felt it a miracle that he hadn’t been at all injured by his father, but something told him his father had been just barely holding back, lest he face the wrath of Winnifred the wise. Cordelia’s reaction had been tamer, which he supposed was better, but the scathing and deep cutting remarks she made could arguably be considered worse. She had stormed into his tower, early one morning, and went on for almost an hour, listing every small mistake, every grandiose disaster, every anxious breakdown right in front of the royal family, all of his deepest regrets and biggest failures, before topping off with his attempted treason like the unripe cherry on the burnt and shriveled cake that was Cedric’s life.

The royal family and the rest of the castle had at least reacted marginally better, although whatever margin Cedric was measuring by was barely enough to squeeze an ant into. The servants looked at him with a range of expressions, some deep and loathing hatred, others a strange form of sympathy, but most with a sort of detached interest, like Cedric was some sort of volatile animal, ready and willing to overthrow the king at any moment. Baileywick had been kinder than most, even if that kindness was merely refusing to speak of the incident all together. Queen Miranda had been oddly and sincerely kind to him, attempting to talk to Cedric about the incident all together, and unravel the exact reason why he had tried to do what he had done.

_“Cedric” the queen had said softly, standing in the doorway to his tower with her hands folded in front of her and her most motherly expression set firmly on her face “I would like to speak to you, if that’s ok with you?”_

_“Of course your majesty, of course, it’s not like I can exactly stop you.” Cedric said dismissively, gesturing for the queen to come in and make herself comfortable._

_“Thank you Cedric, I appreciate it. I understand that everything must be difficult for you, right now.” The queen answered graciously, making her way into the tower, and sitting down gently on one of Cedric’s spare chairs. “I simply wanted to talk to you and see if you could offer up an explanation for why you did what you did.”_

_Cedric almost scoffed aloud at that. What was he, some troublemaking child who had been sent to time out? He understood that the king was pissed at him, greatly so, but this was just downright demeaning. “Come now your majesty, you can’t think any explanation I could possibly come up with for…what I did….would satisfy the king??” He muttered, keeping his eyes firmly planted on the ground. He knew what kind of expression would be on the queen’s face, one of sympathy and kindness, like one smiling face and thoughtful gesture was enough to erase an entire lifetime of harassment, bullying, gaslighting, and all the other horrible shit Cedric had put up with in his entire life._

_The Queen let out an audible sigh, shifting slightly in her seat “Cedric, I know Rollie is… upset, with you, and he has every right to be. What you did was wrong, a criminal act even, and I know you know that. What I don’t know is why you felt like that was the right action to take. It might not be a good enough explanation for Roland, but I feel like this complete isolation isn’t good for you either. I would like to help you Cedric, and from what Sofia has said, she would as well. But we can’t help you if we don’t know what the problem is.”_

_Cedric didn’t know quite how he felt. He’d been offered help before, by many people in his life, and every single time they had failed, or let him down in some way. Only two people had ever helped him remotely, and one of those people Cedric hoped to never think about again. He knew by now to take every offer of help with a large tablespoon of salt, but something about the way the queen spoke, her soft and mothering tone, the sincere expression of emotions. It was a childish treatment, sure, but damn if it wasn’t effective. Cedric let out a dejected sigh, looking up at the queen. She was looking at him intensely, a warm smile on her face. She reached out a hand gently and took Cedric’s hand in her own, stroking it softly._

_“Please Cedric, I’d like to help you. I want to help fix your reputation with Rollie, at the very least.” She said, a note of pleading in her voice. Cedric shuddered slightly. He wanted to trust the queen; he really did. He wished he could accept her help. But something, some angry, stubborn, bitter part of him, refused to. Those who offered to help him always inevitably fell through in the end. They had good intentions, sure, but at the end of the day their help was always to just smile kindly and offer those vague and empty notions, things like ‘oh that’s awful, I’m so sorry’ or ‘you poor boy, that must have been so hard for you’. All empty platitudes, meaningless drivel said to give the illusion of help and support whilst the person firmly dug their heels in and refused to do anything more._

_Finally, Cedric spoke “Your majesty, as much as I appreciate your offer, I don’t feel like I can share my reason for what I did. I barely understand it myself.” A lie, sure, but the only thing he could think of to make her leave. She would accept that as an answer, ask him to think on things, go away and leave him to stew on his supposed unknown reason, and hopefully forget she even asked. Sure enough, the Queen looked at him with an expression of soft understanding._

_“Of course, I understand. Sometimes there really isn’t a reason for the things we do, at least one we can identify easily. If it’s alright with you, I’d like you to try and think of something, anything, that you think might have affected you badly enough to make you do what you did.” Miranda said gently, standing up and heading towards the door._

_“Of course, your majesty.” Cedric stated, no emotion in his voice. The queen spared one last glance at him, concern edging slightly at her expression. Cedric made his best attempt at a reassuring smile, giving the queen a lame thumbs up to try and desperately make her go away. She seemed semi-satisfied by that response, as her smile returned to normal almost immediately and she left without another word._

Cedric shuddered every time he thought about the Queen’s visit. So what did it matter to him, if one other person in the royal family was making even the slightest attempt at being kind and sincere. Too little too late really, at this point. His entire life king Roland had treated him like nothing more than an inconvenient mistake, a burden of a wizard that he was forced to put up with because of tradition and nothing more, and Prince James and Princess Amber treated him like a slightly upgraded court jester. If the queen genuinely cared about him, why now, why after he’d made the mistake and not before. It was nothing more than a performance really, an act of kindness to do little more than convince someone, probably princess Sofia, that the royal family hadn’t given up on him entirely. 

What did matter to him, more so than ever he found, was the support of the very few people in his life that did actually care for him. Sofia, Wormwood, his mother, Calista- all people who trusted him and loved him in some way, and all of whom seemed to have forgiven him for the biggest mistake of his life with such ease that Cedric wasn’t entirely sure if it was all part of some elaborate joke the universe was playing on him. He’d fucked up, badly, worse than all the times before and all the possible times afterwards, but people didn’t seem to…care, as much as they had. They still talked to him, sympathized with him, asked him about his day or how he was doing. Indeed, Sofia seemed to spend most of her free time with him, assisting him in whatever small spells or potions the king was permitting him to do. He really appreciated her company, all things considered. Sofia was the one who, even after his attempted treason, even after he’d petrified her entire family, still stood by him, and believed in him, no matter what. She helped him long before, befriended him, gave him her upmost support, tried her best to heal the broken and fractured messes that were his interpersonal relationships. He had always appreciated princess Sofia, and all she had done for him, but now her companionship meant more to him than he could have ever thought possible.

Life wasn’t exactly normal, or even good, but seeing as he should’ve been sitting underneath a rock on some far-off remote island, scraping through the mud for bugs to roast on a shitty handmade fire, Cedric felt he should count his blessings and leave it at that. Any audiences with the king were mercifully short, often one or two sentences at the most, and he was forever thankful that word of his disastrous attempt to overthrow the king and queen of Enchancia hadn’t really left the castle, save for the correspondence between King Roland and the other affected Kingdoms. In particular, King Magnus of Rudistan, who had been magnificently and, in Cedric’s opinion, deservingly, usurped by his royal sorcerer Greylock the grand. Cedric’s turning on Grimtrix had of course undone the effects of all the other sorcerer’s medusa stones, and Greylock, much like himself, had been quickly seized and thrown in jail. Only, Greylock didn’t have a princess Sofia to vouch for him. The only reason he wasn’t facing banishment was just how sudden his supposed turn to evil had been. Even Cedric himself couldn’t quite believe it. Greylock had always been a good man, a kind man. He had a penchant for pranks and jokes, sure, and his incessant teasing of Cedric wasn’t exactly welcome, but no one could exactly dislike Greylock. He was funny, charming, gentle, an incredibly sweet and considerate man, and he wasn’t that bad looking either. Cedric had been more than surprised to see Greylock at the meeting of the Order of the wand. He wished he’d had the time to talk to Greylock, ask him why he was doing what he was, why the sudden change of heart. Greylock was probably the only wizard there who hadn’t actively hated him anyway, he wished he’d reached out to Greylock at that time and tried to stop him making the same mistake he did. But he hadn’t, and now Cedric was trapped in a castle full of people who either loathed him deeply or treated him like madman and Greylock was all the way in Rudistan, still putting up with the constant bullshit of king Magnus.

Cedric’s mind had been awash with thoughts ever since the incident. anger and bitterness towards the king and royal family, regret and guilt towards hurting his loved ones, a sense of both failure and kinship towards Greylock. He barely slept at night anymore, his brain moving at a mile a minute and yet seemingly never getting anywhere at all. He thought of his childhood, the neglect, the bullying, everything that had shaped him and twisted him into a barely functioning disaster of a person. He wished constantly that his mind would calm down, and be quiet, that he could finally have a moment of peace and clarity, but in his heart of hearts, he knew he didn’t deserve that mercy. He had made to many mistakes, some might say he’d been a mistake from the day he was brought into the world, he wasn’t the kind of person that got peace and clarity. The consequences of his disaster of a life had had to catch up to him at some point, why shouldn’t it be now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well if anybody did in fact read this, thanks! sorry about all the exposition in the first chapter, the second chapters gonna get more into the meat of things. Constructive criticism is highly appreciated, I'm not a novice writer by any means but this is my first time publishing something on an actual sight, so i'm anxious to see how people think i should improve! all the chapter titles and the title of this fic are all gonna be based off of Lemon Demon songs, and i'll put the song name at the bottom of each chapter for anyone interested. This chapter's title is from the song Fine from Dinosaurchestra.


	2. I feel knotted up today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in the same day?? my my, such a head start on my work. TW for a detailed description of a panic attack in this one, if you're uncomfortable with panic attacks i'll leave a chapter synopsis minus the panic attack in the notes at the end! Enjoy!

At least two months after the incident, Cedric wasn’t exactly doing better, or worse. His life had been almost exactly the same, very little about it changing. Until, on what had before been a rather uneventful Sunday, he was called on by Baileywick for an audience with the king. This had become a rarer and rarer occurrence over the months, so being called for one so suddenly filled Cedric with no certain amount of dread.

“W-what? Baileywick, I can’t exactly…this is incredibly sudden, I need time to prepare-“Cedric spluttered, desperate to find any way to delay the inevitable. Baileywick glanced at him over his spectacles, his face as stern and serious as ever.

“Cedric, I will repeat, the king has requested an audience with you. You are to head down to the throne room right away. I am here to do little more than that, so I suggest you hurry. You wouldn’t want to keep the king waiting.” He repeated dutifully, before swiftly turning and closing the door behind him. As his footsteps grew further away, Cedric groaned, gently slamming his face against his desks harsh wooden surface. he had desperately wanted to avoid any more interactions with the king that weren’t strictly necessary, because the sincere and utter hatred in the king’s eyes somehow made him even more of an anxious wreck than he was before. He could barely speak in front of the man, and even being in his presence was enough to send him into a full-blown panic, but he knew if he didn’t go, it would ultimately end up being worse for him in the long run. So Cedric begrudgingly made his way down to the throne room, despite the protests of his legs, which seemed to seize up more and more the closer he got to the throne room. Once there, he kneeled solemnly before the king, hoping against hope that he wasn’t as shaky on the outside as he was on the inside.

“Cedric” The king said curtly, looking down at the man with his usual expression of annoyance and anger.

“Y-your majesty…” Cedric stuttered, rising to his feet slowly. He picked at some loose threads on his sleeves, suddenly almost hyper aware of everything around him. There was a bird on the window. It looked like it was one of princess Sofia’s animal companions. Cedric wondered if the princess had sent the bird to watch the audience, to make sure he was all right. One of the chairs in the corner of the room had been shuffled over slightly. It looked like whoever was cleaning it had forgotten to move it back into position. He doubted Baileywick would notice however, he wasn’t a stickler for that sort of thing. There was a weird spot in the floor in front of him, a small pile of something that couldn’t be identified. It was only a few centimeters away from his shoe, at least he hadn’t trodden in it. Everything except the king stood out so vividly to him, all of it vying for his attention. The whole room felt so infuriatingly loud, and bright, and it was too damn distracting, Cedric didn’t even feel like he could breathe, he didn’t really know if he was. It was all too much, all at once, he hated how this happened, how every time he stood in front of the king the world around him would fold in, smother him, drown him.

“- Cedric? Cedric where you listening to a word I said?!” King Roland’s voice thundered. It cut through the suffocating closeness of everything, and dragged Cedric back to the harsh and unfortunate reality he was stuck in. Cedric looked suddenly up at the king, who looked down on him with an unrelenting rage.

“Well, Cedric, I’m waiting for an answer. Were you or were you not listening to what I was saying?” The king repeated, giving Cedric a harsh glare. Cedric swallowed dryly, the words he needed to say sticking in his throat adamantly. He swallowed again, trying desperately to force the words out, but they weren’t budging.

“I am going to take your silence as a no, Cedric, because frankly I do not have the patience to wait any longer for you to catch up.” The king growled, giving Cedric a withering look. Cedric found he couldn’t even swallow anymore, he just had to take slow, deep breaths and hope the lump in his throat disappeared sometime soon.

“To repeat what I said, I have been in contact with king Magnus recently, on the subject of his royal sorcerer Greylock the grand-“ The king started again, pulling out a letter from his front pocket. Cedric jumped slightly at the mention of Greylock. Had something happened to him? Was he being sentenced to execution? Was Cedric to be next? Cedric shook his head slightly, desperate to focus on what the king was saying, lest he slip down the slippery slope those kinds of thoughts would inevitably lead to.

“- of course, as you are probably well aware, Greylock was a fantastic sorcerer. Not only that, he was a good man as well. His sudden betrayal came as a shock to King Magnus, and yet he refuses to tell him why he did what he did. I had mentioned, in passing, about how my royal sorcerer had supposedly ‘redeemed’ himself, and realized his mistake, and king Magnus took that as an offer of assistance. So, for the foreseeable future, you are going to be put in charge of the rehabilitation of Greylock the grand.” The king continued, giving Cedric a look that clearly stated his lack of faith in Cedric and his ability. Cedric barely registered it however, as his brain was moving at incredible speeds. _He_ was to be put in charge of rehabilitating _Greylock_?! Surely it should be the other way around?? Cedric could barely look after himself, for Gods sake he had panic attacks just standing in front of people, he was not fit to help Greylock in any way shape or form. But then, something seemed fishy to him about the whole thing. Greylock wasn’t an evil man, he had lived a relatively happy life, nothing compared to Cedric’s. why then, would he be so adamant about not telling king Magnus why he’d tried to commit treason? Cedric needed to ask Greylock himself, find out exactly what was going on. He couldn’t exactly refuse the king either, considering how he was on such thin is at the moment it barely counted as frozen. Cedric looked at the king again.

“O-of course your majesty…That’s…fine with me.” He choked out, bowing slightly. The king looked him over briefly, eyes narrowed, before standing up and moving off the throne. He stood in front of Cedric, back straight, arms folded in front of himself. Cedric felt like curling in on himself even more than he already did, and he was already so doubled over his head was tucking into his robes like he was a hedgehog.

“Cedric, I want you to know this. If I have even the slightest reason to believe that you and Greylock are plotting to overthrow either myself or king Magnus, I will not hesitate to throw you both into the dungeon. Do you understand?” the king declared, motioning to the guards that stood in front of the doors, who gave the king a brief nod of acknowledgement.

Cedric let out a small whimper, replying with a hasty “Y-yes your majesty….I understand.” He wanted to be anywhere else, anywhere that wasn’t directly in front of the king and really anywhere within the castle. The king let out a thoughtful hum, before turning away and marching off towards the left exit in the throne room.

“Thank you, Cedric, you are dismissed.” He said shortly, before intercepting a passing by servant “You, do you think you could find Baileywick for me? I need him to pen a letter to king Magnus of Rudistan, to arrange the transfer of Greylock the grand.” The servant nodded, scurrying off to find Baileywick. The king followed soon after, and Cedric was soon left all alone in the throne room. He felt he should do something, move to leave, or even just sit down, but he found himself rooted to the spot, unable to so much as flex a finger. It took him a second to realise he was shaking, violently so. Before he knew what was going on, an overwhelming rush of fear and anxiety swept over him, everything he’d pressed deep down during the audience with the king had finally reared it’s unwanted and unneeded head. Cedric stumbled backwards slightly, feeling physically overwhelmed by it all. It felt crushing, like he was being compressed from all sides again. The room closed in on him, the details clawed at the corners of his mind, he needed to get out of there, he just did. Thankfully, his motor functions seemed to sense his distress, enough at least for him to tear himself away from the throne room and make it all the way back up to his tower.

Cedric slammed the door behind himself, sliding down it with a soft thud. His breathing was ragged, and despite having left the throne room everything still felt so crushing and uncomfortable. Cedric let out a sound, somewhere between a yell and a sob, his fingers twitching erratically, desperate for anything to grasp onto. They settled on his sleeves, grasping and tugging at the fabric as if clinging onto fabric could somehow help him cling onto his fleeting sense of comfort and safety. His breaths were coming in short bursts, the world blurry and unfocused. A soft weight landed on his shoulder. Cedric tilted his head slightly to the side to see wormwood, sitting on his shoulder, doing his best to look as aloof and stand offish as possible, but you couldn’t miss the way he leaned in slightly towards Cedric, trying his best to provide some sort of comfort to his master. Cedric smiled softly, reaching a hand up slightly to scratch under wormwood’s chin. It made him feel marginally better, but he didn’t really think anything could stop the unrelenting flow of emotions at that point. Cedric had no idea how long he was sat there, for all he knew it could’ve been minutes, hours, days, weeks, months. Even as the sun lowered in the sky and the moon began to rise, he was still sat there. Only once the light was gone from the sky did he finally sit up. His neck ached from being bent over for so long, his limbs felt shaky and weak. His eyes still stung with tears, even though by now he had long since forgotten what had upset him in the first place. Cedric slowly made his way to his bed, not really registering where he was going nor what he was doing until he was sinking into the soft silk of his duvet, too tired and shaken to bother to change out of his robes. Cedric didn’t sleep at all that night, instead staring up at the ceiling, the memories and events of the day flashing through his mind and leaving both no impact at all and every impact under the sun. Cedric was a wreck, a barely functioning disaster of a person. And yet he was the one who was going to be trusted with trying to ‘redeem’ Greylock. So many things were wrong with him, he could barely function around people, and yet he was supposed to get to the core of Greylock’s problems? He was the one being trusted with helping another human being?

“It’s not fair, Wormwood.” He muttered, looking at the sleeping raven. “why does it always end up being me who has to suffer?”

Wormwood didn’t respond, of course, but Cedric didn’t really care. By that point he was so physically and emotionally exhausted that Wormwood could’ve started speaking Latin and he wouldn’t have noticed. So Cedric just lay there, too tired to think but to emotional to sleep, until the early hours of the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter synopsis: Cedric gets told by the king that he'll be tasked with helping Rehabilitate Greylock the Grand. 
> 
> Well, sorry for the downer ending, but i really couldn't think of a lighter way to end it. I have no idea what my upload schedule will be, anywhere from 3 days to a week depending on school work, but i'll try to make it as consistent as possible! next chapter will probably be a little bit of time filler and the introduction of Greylock, so stay tuned folks! The lemon Demon song lyric in this chapter comes from The Only House That's Not on Fire (Yet) from View-Monster, and it's also the title of this fic!


	3. I ask for nothing, but maybe i'm lying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another panic attack in this one, sorry chaps, the first few paragraphs of this chapter are fine though, just skip to the end when Cedric bumps into Baileywick :)

When Cedric woke up, he had no idea what time it was. He didn’t even register falling asleep in the first place. Everything felt slightly blurry and zoned out, as if the whole world had suddenly got further away. He fumbled his way out of bed, pausing only to grab his wand and change his robes, before making his way down the long flight of steps that connected his tower to the rest of the castle. He had no particular idea of where he wanted to go, only that he should probably find himself some food, quickly. He headed off towards the kitchen, not bothered at all to visit the dining room, because he knew that most likely a member of the royal family was in there and he was not anxious to talk to any of them.

His mind drifted towards thoughts of the night prior, his brain sluggish and slow. He remembered the feelings, the raw and pure emotions he’d felt last night during his audience with the king. He didn’t remember exactly what the king had said either, only the general gist of things. Greylock was coming to Enchancia, Cedric was responsible for him. Cedric had no idea how he was going to cope with this situation, If even just getting told he was going to be tasked with looking after Greylock sent him into a mass panic. At least, he reasoned with himself, he’d be getting to see Greylock again. After the king of Rudistan’s last visit, Cedric had found himself once again in the company of Greylock the grand, possibly the only wizard in the world asides from his teachers and his mother that hadn’t considered him an utter failure. Greylock’s company throughout school was scarce, because of course nobody would be caught dead hanging out with Cedric the bungler, but the few times Greylock had kept company with him, the few times he’d talked to him and been able to spend time with him, were some of his only good childhood memories. Greylock seemed genuinely impressed with his magic skills, complimenting him, and asking Cedric to teach him some of the more complex spells they had been looking at in the class. Greylock had talked to him for hours about the trite gossip of his classmates, interjecting occasionally with his own thoughts on the matter. Cedric hadn’t cared much about the social lives of his peers, that world was just so far from his own that it didn’t even register as a planet. What he had cared about was just the fact Greylock was talking to him, that he considered him worth telling these things at all. Thinking about all these memories, of Greylock and his companionship, both made Cedric feel infinitely better and infinitely worse at the same time. Greylock had been his friend, even with the teasing nicknames and awful jokes. He’d helped Cedric out when he didn’t even know that was what he was doing, and yet Cedric had been so swept up by Grimtrix’s promises that he hadn’t been bothered to do the same for Greylock. It ate him up inside, the guilt of not helping out the man who had given him what could possibly be considered his only glimpse of friendship, at least until princess Sofia. He only hoped he could make things up to Greylock with this visit, that he could finally give back everything Greylock had given him. He deserved it, frankly. Greylock was a good man, an incredible man, and the fact he even considered Cedric worth talking to was proof enough of that.

Cedric had been so immersed in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed that he had long since past the kitchen. He’d just been walking, slowly, down the hallway, completely ignorant to his surroundings, at least until he bumped into a distinctly human form. Cedric blinked, his train of thought broken completely, before realizing he had walked straight into Baileywick, no doubt performing his usual stewarding duties.

“oh- Apologies, Baileywick.” Cedric said, jumping back slightly. Baileywick smiled apologetically, brushing his waistcoat down slightly.

“no no Cedric, it’s fine, I should be the one apologizing, I didn’t notice you there.” He said, looking at Cedric with a scrutinous expression. As always when talking to the steward, Cedric felt vaguely uncomfortable, as if somehow Baileywick was peering into the depths of his mind with a single stare. He coughed slightly, desperately looking everywhere except Baileywick.

“Right…well…I’ll just, be leaving then…” Cedric stuttered, attempting to sidestep Baileywick and the awkward silence that was arising. However, he didn’t make it far, as Baileywick seemed to have decided he wasn’t quite done with Cedric.

“Oh, actually Cedric, would you mind if I walked with you for a bit? I have some messages I need to deliver to you, from the king.” He smiled again, moving in to step beside Cedric.

“Well, if you must, I can’t exactly stop you now can I?” Cedric muttered under his breath, avoiding looking Baileywick as he did so.

“Excellent, well, I suppose I should start with the news the king wishes me to give you. First of all, Greylock shall be arriving this afternoon.” Baileywick said briskly, pulling out an almost comically long to-do list from his waistcoat pocket.

“What?? This afternoon? That’s…I was expecting to have a little more time to prepare!” Cedric spluttered, an all too familiar compressing feeling beginning to crawl it’s way into his conscious.

“Yes, it’s unfortunate, and I am very sorry that you don’t have as much time to prepare as you need, but it seems king Magnus is desperate to get Greylock off his hands.” Baileywick frowned, giving Cedric a sympathetic look.

“I… indeed…” Cedric whispered, clutching at his sleeves.

“I will see to it that all living preparations for Greylock are taken care of, so that you don’t need to worry about accommodations.” Baileywick continued, scanning further down the list.

“Thank you, Baileywick.” Cedric murmured, desperately trying to focus on anything else other than that compressing, suffocating feeling that was slowly forming in the back of his mind.

“Secondly, Cedric, if you’d allow me to drop the steward façade for a moment, I would simply like to ask if you’re ok.”

Cedric turned to look at Baileywick, a confused expression forming on his face.

“what? Baileywick, I’m fine, I always am.” He scoffed, avoiding looking into Baileywick’s eyes.

“Cedric, pardon me if I sound a bit incredulous, but I simply do not believe that you are in any way ‘fine’.” Baileywick said sternly, folding up his list neatly and putting it back in his breast pocket. “After the incident a few months ago, no sane man would even be remotely fine. I tried avoiding the subject entirely, to see if that would help you in any way, but after giving it a second thought I concluded that the constant isolation must be taking a great toll on you mentally.”

Cedric was lost for words. He’d assumed that Baileywick wasn’t bringing his treason up in conversation under the king’s command. He’d believed that Baileywick, like most of the castle’s staff, was treating him like some sort of unstable mad man for fear of him attempting treason again. He’d never had the best relationship with the steward, a mostly stay out of each other’s way affair, so he’d had no reason to believe Baileywick would show any sort of concern for him.

“W-well, Baileywick, you…you must have concluded wrong, because I am doing fine.” Cedric replied, attempting to give Baileywick his best condescending sneer. Baileywick simply frowned at him, not at all deterred.

“Cedric, please, I heard you in your tower yesterday. You are not doing fine, and admitting to yourself you’re not doing fine is the first way to start feeling better.” Baileywick exclaimed, concern creeping into his voice. Cedric didn’t care. He was suddenly feeling incredibly shaken, as if the whole castle had suddenly tilted to the right and then jumped straight back into position. Baileywick had…heard him? He had unwittingly discovered Cedric at his most vulnerable, he’d heard him sobbing away openly in his tower. That in of itself was enough to pull the compressing feeling to the forefront of his mind, leaving Cedric feeling incredibly compacted and suffocated again. He didn’t register himself breathing anymore, his breaths suddenly short and bursty.

“Cedric? Cedric are you alright?” Baileywick asked, concerned. Cedric opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out, only a swift exhale of air, followed by some incredibly shaky breathing. He decided to do the next best thing, and simply shook his head, before falling against the wall and sinking down to the floor again, head in his hands, his body curling in on itself reflectively. _Baileywick had heard him_. Baileywick had heard him, he knew where Cedric was right now, he had the information and he could do anything with it. He could destroy Cedric’s life, get him fired for being an unstable emotional wreck, turn him into the laughingstock of the palace, or at least more so than he already was. His mind was so awash with thoughts that he didn’t register the soft thud of Baileywick moving to sit beside him. What he did register was the gentle hand on his shoulder, courtesy of the steward.

“Cedric, I’m afraid to say you’re having a panic attack.” Baileywick said softly, rubbing Cedric’s shoulder in what was probably meant to be a comforting fashion.

“N-no shit, Baileywick-“ Cedric choked out with a laugh, a very pained, raspy laugh anyway.

“Pardon you Cedric, but I’ll let that slide for now. Ok, the first thing I suggest you do is start breathing. Take a deep breath through the mouth, hold it for a count of 3, and release it. Count to 3 again and repeat. Focus on your breathing, and you should be fine.” Baileywick said assertively, as if this was simply another task to cross off his almost comically long list.

“do…You…you think knowing why will h-help, somehow?” Cedric stuttered in between deep breaths, thinking back to his previous panic attack, and how not knowing the cause of it had seemed to make it infinitely worse.

“It might do, that is, if you know the reason why. If you don’t know the reason why, then that’s perfectly fine as well. Sometimes these things just sneak up on us, with no real reason.” Baileywick assured. Cedric looked up at the steward, suddenly very curious.

“You…you know what this is like?” He asked, a genuine sense of compassion forming. Baileywick had had panic attacks? He’d always seemed so put together, so capable, he was certainly not the kind of person Cedric would’ve assumed had panic attacks.

“Oh, yes, most certainly.” Baileywick responded, smiling ruefully. “It’s not always been easy being the castle steward, Cedric. I’d have a bad day, things would happen, something might go awfully wrong in my scheduling, and sometimes the stress would get to me, and I’d have a panic attack, much like you are now. However, I learnt to cope, found ways to deal with my panic attacks, and I haven’t really had one since I was in my 30’s. I understand what it’s like to be stressed, and have no one you can lean on for support. Thankfully, I had always been relatively self sufficient when dealing with my problems, and I always had Nigel for support, even if it would take him a while to reach me.”

“are you saying I’m not self-sufficient? Because I am Baileywick, I always have been, I’ve always had to be. No one was ever going to step in to help out Cedric the Bungler.” Cedric blurted, mildly offended that Baileywick didn’t think him self-sufficient enough. Baileywick chuckled softly, moving his hand away from Cedric’s shoulder, a hand that Cedric hadn’t even registered as being there.

“No Cedric, I’m not saying you’re not self-sufficient. I’m saying that unlike me, you don’t have anyone that could possibly support you. You have people that care for you, but to be frank with you Cedric I don’t think it’d be wise to start burdening your niece and the king’s daughter with your problems.” Cedric nodded dully, because as always, Baileywick was right.

“That’s why I’d like to offer you something. My support. I can’t say that I’ll exactly understand the things that upset you, and I’m not in any way a professional in the way of dealing with mental health, but If ever you feel anxious or overwhelmed, you can come and try talking to me. I’d also understand if you refused my help. I overheard the queen talking about how you had refused her assistance, and I assumed it was a matter of trust. It is understandable that anyone in your position would of course have trust issues, and I can’t expect you to trust me right away.” Baileywick said, looking straight into Cedric’s eyes. For once, Cedric didn’t feel uncomfortable looking at Baileywick. If anything, he felt understood. Baileywick had been through something similar to him, at the very least. He didn’t expect him to open up about all his problems straight away, he didn’t expect Cedric to give him his full trust. All he offered was support and comfort. Something that Cedric desperately needed.

“Thank you, Baileywick.” Cedric answered honestly. “That…that means a lot to me. Of course I’ll accept that offer.”

Baileywick smiled softly at him, and for once, Cedric found himself returning a smile. “your welcome Cedric.” Baileywick replied, standing up and offer Cedric a hand to pull him to his feet.

“I mean, you already appear to be doing a fantastic job, seeing as my last panic attack lasted for most of the evening.” Cedric said truthfully, readjusting his robes into some semblance of neatness, at least so it didn’t look like he’d been sitting on the floor.

“Oh, well I am glad I could be of some assistance. I’m afraid I have to be off now Cedric, I need to oversee the preparations for Greylocks visit, as I’m sure you do as well. I’ll see you again this afternoon.” Baileywick said, giving Cedric one last smile before walking off down the hallway again.

Cedric watched the steward walk down the hall, suddenly very much aware of the fact he actually had to do things today. He wasn’t at all used to the idea of having guests, because he’d never had anyone like him enough to want to visit him. He supposed he should tidy up his workshop a bit, make it a bit more presentable than the swamp of scrolls and potion materials it currently was. Firs though, Cedric felt he really should find something to eat. he began to make his way towards the kitchen, and for the first time in a while, he was actually feeling somewhat decent. His thoughts were moving at a relatively slow pace, or at least not moving so fast that Cedric couldn’t even register them.  
“Maybe I should just take today a bit slower…” Cedric muttered to no one in particular. “I don’t need to throw myself into a panic over all this…Greylock is an old friend. I shouldn’t think of this like a royal duty… It’s just a visit, from Greylock, and we’re just going to be two friends hanging out. This is not in any way to do with my treason, or his. Take it slowly, Cedric. Don’t…don’t work yourself up over this.”

Surprisingly enough, this was working. He was genuinely listening to himself, working his way towards a solution. Was this what Baileywick had meant by self-sufficient? Not just teaching himself things, or being his own friend, but also solving problems by himself? Cedric couldn’t be sure, but whatever he was doing, it was working wonderfully. He decided to take his own advice seriously, for once, and take everything slowly. He had until the afternoon after all, and he could afford, for once, to take everything slowly. He set off towards the kitchen at a slow, meandering pace, feeling, for the first time in months, like he was doing something right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: ok, time to write some filler and introduce greylock to the fic-!  
> brain: *Slides a picture of Baileywick over the counter* Hey, hey, hey look at this man.  
> Me: I'm looking, what's so important..?  
> *looks down at word document to see an approximately 2k chapter of Baileywick being the bestTM*  
> Me: oh.
> 
> Yeah, took a bit of a turn on this one. I genuinely meant to write this as being a filler chapter, But... Baileywick. he's very important. I've always head cannoned Baileywick as being on the autism spectrum, like myself, and as someone who has panic attacks Baileywick felt like the best character to help Cedric out this time round. Next chapter will definitely have more Greylock in it, because if it didn't i'd be very worried about how much procrastinating i was doing. This Lemon Demon song Lyric comes from Ask For Nothing from View-Monster. until next time fellows!


	4. Good god i'm glad to see ya, won't you be my panacea?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heloo! sorry this took so long to come out, had a bit of a rough week, but i'm happy with the progress i made! enjoy!

Cedric’s euphoric mood lasted longer than he had ever expected it to, staying with him throughout the entire morning and well into the afternoon, settling down into a calm, gentle satisfaction about midway through the day. He took everything at his own pace, cleaning his workshop in a slow methodical manner, until it barely resembled the disorganized labyrinth Cedric had woken up in. He was feeling incredibly pleased with himself, sure as sure could be that everything was 100% ready for Greylock’s visit. That was, at least, until he remembered the portrait of his parents. Cedric froze, his mind suddenly working a mile a minute. Did he really, really, want his parents to overhear what were probably going to be incredibly private conversations between him and Greylock? Did he really, seriously, want to let his father see what went on in his personal life? How much of an anxious wreck he was? The idea of his father learning about his anxiousness around the king or his panic attacks scared Cedric in ways he’d thought weren’t possible. In fact, he didn’t think he’d ever been as scared of anything before. Which was silly, it was dreadfully silly of him. His father was no monster, he was just some old bastard with an overinflated ego. But still, he had power. He had influence. He had, in full knowledge of what he was doing, chosen to let Cedric be a laughingstock of the wizarding community. He’d practically disowned him. Goodwin might be a great sorcerer, but a great father he was not, and Cedric knew, he just knew, that his father would take his anxiety as an excuse to blame everything on Cedric, once again.

Moving carefully, so as not to alert his parents to the sudden movement of the portrait, Cedric pried the painting off the wall, and gently moved it down into the little alcove attached to his tower, that was originally there to serve as a playroom for him and Cordelia, when his father was the royal sorcerer of the kingdom. He placed it down gently in the farthest corner of the room, before quickly draping a cloth over it for good measure. Cedric brushed his hands down against the side of his robes, finally satisfied with the state of his tower. As he emerged out from the alcove, he couldn’t help but notice the faint sound of footsteps ascending the steps of his tower. A few seconds later, he heard a knocking at the door.

“Yes? Come in.” He called casually, sitting down on his no longer covered in burn marks stool. The door opened slightly, and princess Sofia dashed into the room, a bright smile on her face.

“oh, princess, how good to see you!” Cedric smiled at the girl.

“Hi mr Cedric!” Sofia waved, closing the door gently behind her. “Baileywick sent me up to make sure you were ok! He said that you weren’t very happy earlier, and I can’t let the best royal sorcerer in the world be sad! Especially today!”

“Oh? And what’s so important about today?” Cedric asked, with faux curiosity, quirking an eyebrow up to attempt to look as confused as possible.

“Silly mr Cedric, today is the day Greylock comes to visit!” The princess giggled, covering her mouth with her hand in a very polite and ladylike manner.

“well well, so it is.” Cedric grinned, picking up his wand off the table and twirling it absently in his fingers “He should be arriving…some time this afternoon, should he not?”

“Yep! My dad told us all at breakfast that we had to be on our best behaviour! He also said that we could come out and meet mr Greylock if we wanted to! Amber said she didn’t, she has a playdate with Cleo and Hildegarde, but James and I are gonna be there!” The princess chattered away happily.

“And…your father? I take it he’ll be there as well…?” Cedric gulped, suddenly very nervous about Greylock’s arrival.

“Oh, no, dad said he was gonna wait in the throne room. But mum will be there! She wanted to say hi to mr Greylock, and make sure he doesn’t feel uncomfortable about his visit!”

Internally, Cedric breathed a sigh of relief. The queen was, by all accounts, far better towards him than the king. She, at the very least, hadn’t treated him like a pile of dog shit all his life. “Oh, I see.” He replied casually, hoping against hope that the relief wasn’t showing on his face.

“But anyway, how are you doing mr Cedric? Are you doing good?” The princess asked, her voice switching from excited to concerned in a matter of seconds. Cedric chuckled slightly. The amount of concern princess Sofia showed for him was second to none, he had never ever met a child so invested in the wellbeing of others. At least, one that wasn’t so invested in how to use that wellbeing to start a drama.

“Ah, princess, you don’t have to worry about me, I’m fine! I can look after myself you know, I don’t need you to worry after me!” He smiled reassuringly, hoping that the princess didn’t push any further. Princess Sofia wasn’t one to take no’s for an answer, and if she didn’t believe what you said then she would never ever let it go.

“Well…if you’re sure…” The princess said slowly, looking at Cedric through a squint.

“yes princess, I’m quite sure. Now, why don’t we head outside? I’m sure Greylock will be arriving soon, so best not to be late out!” Cedric said with a flourish, standing up and quietly tucking his wand into his sleeve.

“Yeah! I’ll race you down mr Cedric!” The Princess nodded cheerfully, turning around and sprinting down the tower steps as fast as she possibly could.

“Do go careful princess! Your father would have my head if you fell and hurt yourself!” Cedric called after her, but by now he figured she was probably way out of earshot. “Wormwood, be a dear and follow after the princess, would you?” Cedric politely asked the raven, who had been sitting on his perch all day, acting rather high and mighty. He seemed to not be particularly talkative at the moment, which Cedric found rather puzzling. When had Wormwood not loved the sound of his own voice? However, now was not the time to start asking those questions, because the raven had, seemingly, acknowledged Cedric’s request, and had taken flight, leaving through the open door with a swift rush of wings. Cedric breathed a sigh of relief. At least now he had insurance, in case the princess did hurt herself. He took one last look around the tower, just to make sure it was in fact clean and didn’t still look like the remains of a bombed library. He couldn’t explain it, but Cedric felt an undeniable feeling of dread forming. He had no idea why he felt like something was going to happen, because everything was fine. He hadn’t done anything wrong today, at least as far as he knew. Once again, his mind was telling him one thing, and his gut instincts were saying something else entirely. Why could the two never seem to get along? Cedric decided that as of right now, he really should actively avoid tackling these feelings. He had too much to do today, he couldn’t afford to sit down with himself and talk about his sudden overwhelming dread. As he made to leave the tower, Cedric felt the unmistakable feeling of being watched. By what, he had no idea. But it was there. His breath hitched slightly, his spine feeling as though it was being marched up by a hoard of tiny little spiders. He half walked, half sprinted towards the door, practically slamming it behind himself as he dashed down the staircase, his skin crawling with nerves.

Outside the castle, things didn’t feel particularly better. It might have been to do with the crowds of servants waiting for the arrival of Greylock. Surely there shouldn’t be this many here for the arrival of just one sorcerer? Cedric puzzled over this for a solid few seconds, before noticing the abnormal amount of guards around as well. Then it hit him. The servants were insurance. Much like wormwood had been for protecting Sofia, the servants, and guards where there in case Greylock attempted to overthrow king Roland. The thought of it made Cedric slightly sick. Insurance for him? He could more than understand that, he was a volatile mess, a laughing stock of the entire magical community. But Greylock was a good man, a respected man. Treating Greylock like some prisoner, like…like Cedric, was absolutely disgusting to him. Cedric had to make a conscious effort to block out the guards and servants around him, instead focusing on the more important figures. The queen was standing at the very front of them all, her usual kindly smile set on her face. She was nodding along to the ramblings of an overly hyper prince James, who was hopping around everywhere like princess Sofia’s pet rabbit. Speaking of the princess, she was of course next to her mother as well, holding said rabbit in her arms and petting him gently. She wasn’t talking to him, as Cedric expected. It appeared that only himself and princess Amber knew of the powers of the amulet, and if the princess hadn’t trusted her family enough to tell them, that was of no concern to him. Personally, he could see where she was coming from. To Cedric’s surprise, Wormwood was perched on Sofia’s shoulder, preening his wings with his usual arrogance. Wormwood was a bird with impossible standards, to have him sit on your shoulder was a sign of his upmost respect. But then he supposed, the princess had for a while been the only person who could actually understand him. That must have counted for something in Wormwoods books. Still though, Cedric had certainly not been expecting that. He moved to stand next to the princess, not anxious to be anywhere near the center of the crowd.

“-Sofia, why exactly do you have Cedric’s bird on your shoulder?” Cedric overheard the queen ask as he drew closer to them.

“Because mum! He said he was tired! And I was gonna wait for mr Cedric anyway, because I challenged him to a race to get here first and he lost!” The princess chattered happily, flashing her mother a huge grin.

“Oh, Sofia, you know you shouldn’t run in the castle, and especially down staircases! What if you’d fallen and gotten hurt?” the queen scolded, looking at Sofia with a concerned motherly expression.

“If…if I may your majesty, I had already taken that into consideration, which is why I sent wormwood down with her.” Cedric stuttered, avoiding looking at the queen and instead glancing at his pretentious raven, who looked up at him with an unimpressed look, as if to say ‘really Cedric, baby sitting children now? I am a bird of more importance than that.’

“Oh, you did? Why thank you Cedric, that is very considerate of you!” The queen smiled at him, taking his hand gently before enveloping him in a hug. Cedric’s entire body went stiff. This, this was new. Queen Miranda was an affectionate woman, sure, but never to Cedric. And whilst he hated to admit to himself that he was touch starved, it was an unfortunate fact of his life that the only person who had ever hugged him was his mother, and only when his father wasn’t around, because any attempt to show Cedric affection around his father ended with him being yelled at for his ‘clingy’ and ‘needy’ behaviour. Cedric wasn’t quite sure how to react to the queens hug, because frankly, this was more than a little weird to him. Thankfully, he was saved from having to react, because the queen released him quickly, smoothing down her dress and turning back to talk to James, who had gone 5 whole seconds without attention and looked as if he were about to explode. Cedric felt a sudden added weight on his shoulder, and then heard the smooth speaking voice of Wormwood in his ear:

“Really Cedric, next time someone hugs you, try not to look as if you’re going to start crying. It is frightfully embarrassing” The bird taunted.

“Hush, wormwood.” Cedric snapped, swatting at the Raven with one hand. Wormwood swatted back, far more viciously than Cedric had, and Cedric decided to spare his fingers and back off. He went back to looking around the courtyard tentatively, his patience growing thinner and thinner. Greylock was taking ages to arrive, and frankly being around this many people was starting to mess with his mind a bit. He spotted Baileywick standing to the side, directing servants this way and that, making sure everything was as neat and orderly as it could be. Apparently, Baileywick had spotted Cedric as well, as Cedric could swear Baileywick had given him a quick, reassuring smile, before he’d turned to talk to yet another nameless servant. Well, at least Baileywick was there. Someone here could at least bail him out if things got too overwhelming. It wasn’t exactly comforting, but it was something. Cedric wondered how much longer he was going to have to wait. Just standing out there, surrounded by people who he knew were always at least silently judging him, was not his idea of a good time. Thankfully, it didn’t look like the wait would be too long. Just over the horizon, a small dot was slowly coming closer and closer. The closer it got, the more It started to look like a flying coach.

“ah, they’re almost here! Positions, everyone!” Baileywick yelled, clapping his hands together swiftly. The servants all moved elegantly into a neat set of rows, standing straight and tall. Cedric was mildly impressed. If there was one person who knew how to make a team look professional, it was Baileywick. Suddenly, the castle doors swung open. King Roland dashed out, looking mildly panicked, which Cedric should not have felt a snide sense of glee at. It felt cathartic though, in a way, to see the king as stressed out as Cedric usually was.

“B-Baileywick…did you…receive my message?” The king said between pants of air.

“Yes sire, I did, and don’t worry, I was able to make some last minute changes to the arrangements” Baileywick smiled reassuringly, gesturing round to the large amounts of servants and guards.

“Thank you, Baileywick, you’re a miracle! I am going to be having words with king Magnus in a moment, he can’t just tell us he’s going to be on the coach two hours before said coach arrives!” the king grumbled, standing up straight and brushing himself down.

Ah. That explained the extra servants. Cedric supposed it made more sense than insurance, anyway. He’d gotten himself riled up over nothing, like a complete twat. Thankfully, if king Magnus was coming, Cedric was expected to stay out of sight and out of mind. He slunk quietly to the back of the crowd, standing just in the shadow of one of the palace trees. Perfect. No one ever talked to him when he was standing in the corner, because corner lurkers weren’t exactly the most talkative people.

The Rudistan carriage touched down on the ground with a gentle clunk, pulling to a stop right next to the palace steps. Two guards stepped forward like a well-oiled machine and opened the carriage doors. King Magnus practically burst from the carriage, hopping down onto the steps like a particularly jubilant hippo. Following behind him, at a much calmer and more mature rate, was Greylock. He looked exactly the same as he always had, at least on first glance. Same golden monocle, same ridiculously high cheekbones, same ugly but also somewhat endearing sweater and bowtie combination. He looked like Greylock, but something was distinctly off, and it took Cedric a good few seconds to see what it was. Greylock wasn’t smiling. Greylock _always_ smiled. It was one of the reasons people loved him so much, because no matter what, Greylock could always be counted on to cheer people up. But now he wasn’t smiling, in fact his expression was more resigned, more melancholic. For some reason he couldn’t quite explain, that upset Cedric more than anything else. Everything around him zoned out, the servants, the royal family, none of it mattered. All he could see was a frowning, sad, Greylock, and it was practically eating him up inside. He felt like he should move to greet Greylock, but being anywhere near king Magnus made him feel like his lungs were being filled with cement. So he did the next best thing, and made several awkward gestures in Greylock’s general vicinity. Mercifully, Greylock seemed to get his message, because he turned to king Magnus, muttered some inconsequential words, and moved swiftly towards Cedric.

“Oh, there you are Cedric!” Greylock said, relief flooding through his voice, “I see you found a nice and quiet spot to hide in!”

“yes, nice, quiet and out of the way, just how the king likes.” Cedric replied, his voice taking on a far more bitter tone than he was expecting.

“Yes, well, I personally wouldn’t want to be anywhere near either of the kings, if I were you. They aren’t particularly pleased with us as of recent” Greylock said, lowering his tone of voice dramatically and glancing nervously at the two kings, both of whom seemed to be engrossed in what looked like a rather aggravated conversation.

“yes, well, King Roland has never been particularly pleased with me since the day of Cordelia’s sorceress ball, so not much has changed on my end.” Cedric muttered. In his mind, the sentence had been longer, continuing along the lines of: _“except now I have a nifty new anxiety disorder, where I have panic attacks and stop breathing and my entire body goes into a panic, which is making my life 2000x worse but hey who am I to complain?!”_ But now really did not seem like the time to bring that up, especially when practically the entire castle was standing outside with them.

“Yes, I suppose that must be the case. But still, Cedric, I want to know, what happened to you? When I heard you had been defeated, I expected the worse, I truly did, I was waiting to hear news of your execution or even just sentencing, I was terrified of what would happen to you! But you’re fine, your life is almost exactly the same as before! How??” Greylock asked excitedly, a mix of concern and curiosity forming in his eyes.

“yes, well, I could ask you the same thing! I always had a way out, but the same cannot be said for you! How exactly did you manage to stay in such a good position??” Cedric fired back, placing a hand on Greylock’s shoulder, partly to stop the man bouncing up and down in excitement, and partly to try and convey just as much concern as Greylock had shown him in one look.

“oh, my friend, it appears we both have a lot to talk about, hmh?” Greylock smiled, placing his hand over the top of Cedrics and gently removing it from his shoulder. Once again, Cedric’s entire body went stiff. Greylock’s hand on his own was…well, it was nice. His hand was warm, and honestly quite soft. But the mere act of contact with Greylock was already stressing him out even more than contact with the queen had. It was Greylock, he knew it was, and Cedric remembered now, more than ever, why he tried as hard as possible to avoid thinking about Greylock.

**_Approximately 20 years before hand_ **

**_\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_ **

_‘oh come on Crackstick, try and seem a bit more invested won’t you!” Greylock said teasingly, poking Cedric in the shoulder repeatedly. Cedric didn’t bother to look up at him. He knew exactly what Greylock was doing, simply trying to provoke a reaction. Well, he wanted to read, and read he was going to._

_“You know my name is Cedric, Greylock, and besides, I don’t particularly give a damn about who Suzy Reynolds had sex with in the bathroom! What I do give a damn about is passing the enchanted gardening quiz we have tomorrow, so if you could please let me study for that!” Cedric snapped, setting his enchanted flora encyclopedia down on the bed next to him and turning to Greylock, who was smirking at him, his eyebrows quirked up slightly._

_“I thought you had taken on the ‘ignore Greylock whenever possible’ policy?” He grinned, poking Cedric in the arm once again._

_“well, sometimes rules can be broken for one reason or another.” Cedric responded stiffly, shuffling slightly so he was out of arm poking range._

_“So I take it you are interested in the sex scandal then? My my medkit, I didn’t take you as that type-“ Greylock whispered, his voice low and sultry. One of his hands started casually flicking at Cedric’s bangs, with seemingly no purpose other than to piss Cedric off as much as possible._

_“I’m not even going to bother correcting you on my name Greylock, and no I am not interested in some stupid sex scandal between 16-year-olds, it’s just ridiculous frankly! Our final exams are at the end of the year and they’re more worried about who’s boning in the bathroom!” Cedric declared angrily, swatting at Greylock’s hand as he did so. To his utter surprise, Greylock actually moved his hand. Cedric turned to look at him suddenly, slightly worried. What he saw was Greylock, one hand clamped over his mouth, the other clamped around his sides, shaking violently. Cedric was about to ask what was wrong, before Greylock, rather suddenly and loudly, burst into peals of laughter. He fell sideways onto the bed next to Cedric, tears streaming down his face._

_“what- what’s so funny?!” Cedric asked, mildly panicked._

_“S-something about you saying ‘boning in the bathroom’ is…it’s just…oh, oh god, I can’t breath-“ Greylock spluttered between breaths, trying desperately to compose himself. Cedric, meanwhile, was just sitting there, staring at Greylock intently. He’d heard Greylock laugh before, this was nothing new, but usually it was shorter, quieter, and never at anything he’d said. Cedric found he rather liked making Greylock laugh. It gave him an incredibly warm and satisfied buzzing feeling in his stomach, like eating a nice warm meal or getting an A+ on a test. It made him happy. Greylock made him happy. Cedric found himself wondering if Greylock could always make him this happy. He loved this feeling, the feeling of pride and joy he felt when he was around Greylock. The feeling felt faintly familiar in a way, and something was stirring In the back of his mind. A page, from a book, one that he had stumbled upon during his many late-night reading sessions in the school library. The book was titled; ‘Emotions and their affect on magic’, which whilst not a particularly clever title, was more than sufficient in telling you the topic of the book. Cedric had scanned through the entire thing, enthralled by the deep magical research. One paragraph in particular that had interested him was the application of love in magic._

_‘ **love-‘** it had explained, ‘- **is an extremely powerful emotion. The recognizable feelings of happiness and contentment can almost triple the power of any spell, much like happiness when utilized correctly. Love differs from happiness in many ways however, most notably how one experiences the emotions needed for magical emotional spellcasting. Love is often felt very rarely in one’s life, as opposed to happiness, which can be quite a frequent emotion. Ancient Meruvian carvings that were discovered and deciphered make reference to this, noting how most people will only feel strong feelings of love towards either their family, close personal friends or romantic partners, and even then true deep love isn’t always going to result from those connections. Some people may love their friends very much, but more in the way one loves their favourite trinket. It is difficult to know when one is experiencing a truer form of love, and usually it is identified more subconsciously than anything.’**_

_Why that paragraph, and why now? Was his subconscious trying to tell him something? He certainly hoped it wasn’t, but looking at Greylock, lying draped across his bed, still laughing wildly, the warm feeling in his gut grew more and more. He…was he in love with Greylock? He couldn’t be. Greylock was his friend, and not even that close of a friend. They barely hung out at school, and it wasn’t exactly common for them to hang out like this either. But when they did hang out, Cedric was happy. All his problems felt smaller, less dominating than when he was alone. Greylock made him feel happy, comfortable, appreciated. He never felt any of those things usually. The more and more he thought about it, the more it made sense to him. This was how Cordelia had described her connection to his mother and father, in excruciating and boastful detail. Maybe it was conformation bias, sure, but the more he said it to himself, the more it made sense._

_He was in love with Greylock. He was in love with his best friend. Greylock made him feel happy, wanted, appreciated. Cedric was in love with Greylock._

_And he could never tell a soul about it._

_\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

The feelings he’d pressed deep, deep down, alongside most of his other feelings really, stung as fresh and bright as the day he’d first felt them. Any and all interactions with Greylock reminded him of the strong feelings of love and happiness he felt around them, and over time, they had just grown and grown. and Greylock was going to be here, in the castle, for gods knows how long, and he was going to be spending almost every second of the day with him.

“yes…yes Greylock, I think we do have quite a lot to talk about.” Cedric smiled at him, gesturing at Greylock to follow him into the castle. Greylock followed thusly, falling quietly into step besides Cedric.

“We can go to my tower if you’d like. Sit, and talk, maybe over a cup of tea?” Cedric mused quietly.

“You know Cedric, that sounds rather delightful.” Greylock smiled at him, his eyes twinkling with delight for the first time since he’d arrived. That fact alone was enough to send every gay ass bone in Cedric’s gay ass body into a complete panic. If Greylock simply smiling at him sent him into this much of a panic, then this was going to be a long, long visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woot woot, Greylock is here! finally! again, i'm really sorry about the delay, i had some family matters to attend to, and i've recently gone back to completing some old script works that i had on the back burner. this chapter was decently long though, and i hope that made up for it! this Lemon Demon song title comes from Sweet Bod from Spirit phone. until next time, adios!


	5. a small update

hey. i'm sorry about the lack of updates recently, and i feel i should explain why. I recently hit a massive roadblock in this story, which resulted in me scrapping my chapter 5 draft entirely, and it has taken me about a week to fully map out my direction for the story. i can now safely say that i have an actual idea for the direction of the story and what i want to do next, and i'll 100% have something out by the end of the week! in the meantime, i am really sorry for how long it's taken, and i hope the future direction of the story is enjoyable to read!   
-Sincerely, MeanGreenMotherFromOuterSpace22


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